Category Archives: From the Camera

The Children’s Parade of Nightmares

05 December, 2009

Our town has a very strange tradition of whacked parades. This year’s Children’s Christmas Parade was deliriously psychotic. But don’t take my word for it. In particular, watch out for the lobster (words to live by, huh?).

Sleep well.

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Anything Goes

13 October, 2007

Cole Porter was right. “In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked at as something shocking, now heaven knows…Anything Goes.” More than that marketing seems to know everything and nothing at the same time. They haven’t a shred of decency at all. That we know, that we know.

So, today I was in the Wal-Mart, getting chewable Tylenol and two things of photocopy paper, and I walk past a candy display, seemingly innoccuous. Upon closer inspection, I noticed a product that was at once so, absolutely hip to popular culture, and so utterly without shame that I felt what I can only call the Postmodern Sublime.

Elvis Peanut Butter Cups

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Ikey’s Big Steps

30 June, 2006

I realize that I’ve not been keeping people up with the progress of the young sportsman. Well, as you can see he’s terrorizing the house.

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Oh, And Don’t Forget Big Sister

30 June, 2006

Zoë was a little upset that her brother’s screen test was so successful. So here’s her little routine, cooked up to make sure she holds onto her alpha spot.

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Uncanny America

16 September, 2005

Barbie

Click on image for Barbie detail.

I recount the following conversation I had with my daughter as I was getting out of the Jeep to take the above photograph:

Zoë was yelling at me, “What are you doing, Dad?”

I told her I was taking a picture of this truck.

She asked why, and I said, “Because there is a Barbie head in the front seat.” She said, “What’s a Barbie?”

And I said, “You’re a good girl.”

This kind of moment (in which I revere my daughter for not recognizing an American icon) is pretty closely related to the fact that I am almost obscenely proud of the fact that I have never been to Disneyland (or world). Neither has my wife.

As far as I am concerned, this bundle of truths makes my family perfect.

The baby doesn’t value anything that won’t fit into his mouth. The three-year-old doesn’t know who Barbie is, calls broccoli her favorite food, and won’t sculpt with the colored clay because it’s for “babies.”

This sounds like something someone must have said once, but we are best defined by those things we reject, or maybe also by the things we secretly love. I love Velveeta and picante sauce, the TV show Scrubs, and comic books.

What do you reject? What do you secretly love and hope no one will ever discover?

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Read with a child for 20 minutes a day

20 December, 2004

Yesterday while coming back from my grandmother’s 90th birthday party, I found this guy enjoying a little quality time with his boy, while they were waiting to board. If you start them early with soft core porn in the form of a men’s lifestyle magazine, they will never turn from it.

Max

Getting this shot, by the way, was really dang tough. I had to pretend like I was just showing my mother some shots of the family, when I was really trying to get a steady shot with a 1/16 of a second shutter speed, maximum zoom.

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Goodnight Everybody

24 November, 2004

Since we’ve been in the America’s Funniest Home Videos mode. Why not another…for Thanksgiving.

Click here for the movie

“Goodnight Everybody”
une film de papa
You’ll need Quicktime to view the movie.

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Now, I’m Sure My Child Is Strange

24 November, 2004

Yes, that’s our girl.

Click here for the movie

“Row, Row, Row Your Laundry Organizer”
une film de papa
You’ll need Quicktime to view the movie.

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Gotham City, er, Chicago

05 April, 2004

I’ve been immensely busy with a variety of things recently. March came in like a lion and went out like a lion that someone is waving a stick at.

I did have one or two moments during my recent trip to Chicago (more on that in a day or two) to snap this photo of the El and some Blade Runner-esque building.

No retouching here, just real space opera.

Chicago Space Opera

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She’s a Talker

02 March, 2004

Here’s what Zoë does when you stick a camera in her face.

I don’t know whether to be pleased or frightened. Zoë sees the camera as “thing that creates Zoës,” which is a fairly apt observation, since my aesthetics (at least as far as the camera is concerned) are almost 100% attuned to something Zoë has whipped up to amuse herself.

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